I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
