I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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