Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
