i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
