47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
