I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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