You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
