she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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