we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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