He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
