god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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