You made me cry and you don't even care
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
