You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
