i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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