The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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