I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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