Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
