And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
