Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
