my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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