It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize