I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
