A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
