woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
