no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize