Acid is not a monday night drug
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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