the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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