i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
