It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
