I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
