Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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