Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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