So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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