no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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