so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
