God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
