that's an acceptable place to lick
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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