I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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