dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
