She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
that's an acceptable place to lick
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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