I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
