And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we're making bets on your personal life
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
