I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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