bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
