Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
