therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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