I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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