The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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