: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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