idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dear god my vagina.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
