the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
