Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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