oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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