worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
