All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
