She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think I sprained my soul last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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