She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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