I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just high enough for therapy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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