I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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