More tranny stories later!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
